Freewill and Love…

Learning from Bruce Almighty

Today’s my last day in my on shore assignment.  Work-wise, I was able to talk to a lot of people.  Generated new ideas of improving almost all areas in my work.  Personally, my long wait was over and that I’m excited to see my girls.

While waiting for my laundry to finish, I opened the tv and just happened to catch Bruce Almighty again.  And this idea struck me… “How can you make someone love you by respecting his/her freewill?”

In the movie, it was all about Bruce getting all God’s powers.  But it has a limitation… you can never use it to make people love you… because of freewill.

Same is true with parenting.  Now that Amanda is still a toddler, I know it’s easy for her to love us as her parents.  It is a given that all of us, when we’re young, we all go to our parents since we’re highly dependent on them.  Maybe 10 years down the road, things will change. She maybe fully independent and as all parents may fear, we don’t have control if she’ll love us back..

So then came my thought, how can we make our kids go back and love us?

It was and always will be a work in progress.  I think that if I could just plant tiny seeds of love everyday in what ever way that she may or may not feel may be the answer.  Like, when we’re apart, we always say I love you. Or simply take time to appreciate her crooked that are supposedly straight line drawings. Or drop a conversation with an adult to just listen to her telling “look at my minion castle”  

Little things, when compounded might just be the way to raise loving kids.  Just pure theory for now, after all I’m just a rookie dad.

7842 Miles

For quite some time, I’ve been doing some travel for work.  I remembered my first on shore assignment which took about four months and I had no problem getting home sick.  But that was before Cali, Champee and soon, Cassandra.

Last weekend, I went for another trip to MSP.  I wasn’t prepared for the emotional ride as I thought this would just be one of those trips as it’s only two weeks.

But then again, it was the first time where Champee seemed to understand and know what’s going on already so that makes it extra hard.  The day before my flight, that was the time I really felt sad… Sad because I’m not used to sleeping without my girls (even though I sleep in a small sofa bed and have Champee and Cali in the big bed).  I miss the late night plants vs. zombies session, the peppa pig role playing and the super sweet hugs and kisses of my girls.

Now I’m 7842 miles away from home. Good thing there’s technology to bring us closer.  Thanks to Skype as we’re able to see each other at the start and end of our day.

Three things I realized while being away from my girls:

  1. I have two big beds in the hotel, two big tvs, great aircon but stillI really find it hard to sleep.  At home I sleep with only half of my back having cushion but can clock in 8 hours.  There’s nothing more comfortable than being home with your loved ones. Now I appreciate the imperfections of our house, as what is important is that everyone’s together.
  2. If I felt sad being away for 2 weeks, how much more our OFWs?  I admire the strength of those who sacrificed being away with their families to earn more.  However, I still think that it’s a very big price to pay as families learn to live without their parents therefore weakening the basic unit of society.
  3. When you’re surrounded with people who have families, they completely understand what you’re feeling and would go out of their way to make you feel at home. For the week I’ve been away, God sent people who could help me keep my sanity intact 

It was hard to travel away from your loved ones. And it would have been more difficult if my reasons for travel were not intact. In the end, it was all about getting to know my why’s for choosing to go. Was it just to improve my work?  Maybe it’s a part of it… but more so making my girls know that my love for them outweighs my work objectives.